It means an acute fear of being left behind, and can be similar to athazagoraphobia, the fear of being forgotten...it is not something I suffer from, but I feel that as a title here it is appropriate. My prayers go out to everyone dealing in some way or another with the horrible crises in Japan right now, to the workers at Fukushima Daiichi and the other nuclear power plants in danger, and to those who have died in the earthquake, tsunami, and their aftermath. I cannot begin to imagine what those who are there now are going through....And as I turned to go home for the afternoon, to get lost in the mill of people pressing their way to the door, her mouth opened slightly; that masked composure slipping for fraction of a second to reveal a streak of desperation. I was stopped in mid-motion, netted in place by the eyes searching my face; they spoke so much more clearly than her voice, which caught as she said
"Don't leave me alone..."
It was only for a second. A second that snagged, briefly, and hung between us on her words - half-joking, half-plea - as the sunlight streaming through the plate-glass windows behind me threaded her dark eyes with slubs that burned a brilliant golden amber. Just a second, but all the people and mundane color in the world seemed to vanish under that gaze, all desaturated save a blur of intense black, white, gold and red.
I have an incredibly color-oriented memory, and that one odd moment between two friends - though years past - is still burned as cleanly into my mind as though it were branded there. Now, all I can think is dear God...do something to stop this, so that clear gaze won't be extinguished.I am somehow scared witless, of something less selfish than feeling a little friendless during her absence; there is some precognition that haunts me, hinting that if she goes to the East she might not make it back. Don't get on that plane; don't leave all of us here; "don't leave me alone..."
Plaster stock manipulated by me, but courtesy of ~artbees